Hate Hugs

I’ve been thinking a lot about how love and hate are just two sides of the same coin. Not a new insight of course, but I think the notion is pretty fundamental, that it drives the universe in fact.





So Love is that impulse or power that draws things together. We feel strongly about its effect because we’ve been engineered by evolution to do so. We have enshrined love as the holiest of holy things, the desire to be one with the most beloved and loving—God. But in secular modes, it makes us care deeply about those we identify as being part of our group or tribe. That way, we work together to take care of each other, thus better insuring our survival, and our likelihood of doing the only thing that matters—replicating our DNA.

Hate is that impulse or power that divides and disperses things. We feel strongly about its effect because again we’ve been engineered by evolution to do so. We naturally distrust difference. People who claim otherwise, that they naturally love everyone, indiscriminately, are in fact just expressing a timid, supposedly nicer version of hate called indifference. Of course hate is allegedly the holy motive and driving force of the Dark Side, of the Shadow realm of demons and devils, of Satan the Prince of Darkness and Hate—i.e., this world. In secular modes, hate helps us to defend the things we love by making us feel noble and self-sacrificing attacking and destroying their enemies. People with whom we could form lasting and deep affections are treated like evil machines by us just because they wear the uniform and fly the flag of the other tribe. And we justify this deep, passionate, killing hatred by saying it is the way we can best show our love.

Yes, they are married to each other, these fundamental forces of Nature.

And I was thinking about how people so readily grab onto each other these days as a way of greeting and affirming acceptance and approval. Generally, these monkey clutches are thought to be indicative of loving thoughts, but mainly they are social conventions, nobody wanting to shake hands any longer (understandably what with all those nasty germs lurking about on them). Hugging and head butting or air kissing are actually safe ways of sharing the love—or the appearance of it.

So, why not do the same thing with the people we hate? They too after all have engaged us in ways that we should acknowledge as being significant, not just the usual face-in-a-crowd tepid hate of oblique competition, but the in-your-face gift of enemy-hood. They are just as important to you, perhaps more so in some ways, than the people you love. They bring you out of yourself, to find the limits of what you are willing to do to protect what you believe in and what you claim to love.

Shouldn’t we then be willing and indeed anxious to show our appreciation for these hyper-frenemies with hate-hugs?

A hate-hug is not a show of acceptance or approval, but a show of recognition and appreciation for someone who has been an important help to you in your life, aiding you to better understand yourself and what you really care about, by being the thing which you’ve committed yourself to stand against in defense of these cherishables.

The behateds of this world give fire to your otherwise easy and comfortable notions of commitment to your family and your tribe.

So, give a hate-hug to your enemy today.

And, hey, why hold back, a little kiss of death can’t be bad for the complexion either, can it?

But, watch yourself. That can lead to hate-sex. And that can lead to marriage.



Friar said…
A most eloquent thought for the day ... a reminding factor that we can learn to appreciate the value of our existentialist perception through learning to love our enemies. Nice One JK. --Steven Ashe